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Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Piano

The piano frustrates me. I feel like I never get better no matter how much I practice. I've always loved playing the piano and when I didn't have a piano teacher I would teach myself because I wanted to get better. I have had four piano teachers since I moved here. The first two were idiots and the third one was good but I really like the one I have now. However, I have a hard time practicing as much as I would like to because trying to play in a house with thirteen people is very annoying and loud. I listen to people in choir play the piano and they are amazing and then I feel like I can't even compare to them. I love playing the piano, I do it as much as possible and it's my favorite thing to do. So how come I'm not as good as those other people when I think I practice just as hard and love it just as much if not more. I swear I'm like that for everything: school, sports, piano. I will just never be as good as other people no matter how hard I try or how much I want it. Is it just in my genes to suck? I'm sick of feeling like I'm not good at anything. Especially the piano, my most favorite thing in the world. And anyone who tells me to stop comparing myself to other people can just shut up. I want to be as good as others so I can actually feel good about myself. I'm not trying to compete, I just want to be as good as everyone else. I want to feel like all my hours of practicing aren't being wasted. Honestly I'm really starting to hate the piano.

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3 comments:

Marissa said...

Wow, Celeste, I can't believe you posted this.

Every time I've heard you sing or play the piano, I've thought to myself, "What is wrong with me that makes it so I'm not as good as her?! Why can't I write songs or transpose music from the internet?!"

No joke. Like, when you played "The River Flows in You" in the talent show last year, I went home and printed it off of the internet and started practicing so I could sound as good as you.

I'm not going to tell you not to compare yourself to others, I'm just going to say that for every person you compare yourself to, there is someone comparing themselves to you and wishing they could be like you.

You are amazing, girl! Don't give it up!

Marissa said...

p.s. sorry for the long comment :)

Suzanne said...

It's hard to not compare because I've done the same thing. It seemed like there was always someone better than me at recitals or competitions. The reality is there is always some better. On the otherhand, I have to agree with Marissa (who I don't know, but has some great points:) I think you would be amazed by how many people look up to you and think you're amazing! You have many great talents and gifts.. don't underestimate yourself.