Christmas

Christmas was simply delightful this year. I handed out root beer and chocolate kisses to my friends with the note "Have a merry kissmas and happy root beer." I'll admit I stole that from Aunt Marjorie, she did that many years back but I still remember that and thinking of how clever she was. In return, I got some friends gifts too.

Twelve days before Christmas, someone left a small wooden stable on our front porch and a snow globe. We were all very excited about this, but were wondering about the empty stable with no nativity characters in it. The next day, we got a goat I think, and then a bunch of hot chocolate mixes. Each day, we've gotten another piece to the nativity and another present for the family. It's been really fun to see what we get each day and I'm really grateful someone did this for us.

Two days before Christmas, I went over to my cousin Amanda's house. They had just come back from Canada, and Amanda and I haven't hung out in a while which made us feel sad. I went Christmas shopping with her and we played the piano together (that's one of the wonderful things about Amanda, we can play the piano for entertainment and take turns which I can't do with my other friends because they get bored). Hannah came over a couple hours later to hang out with Chelsie, and we both slept over at their house.

The next day, we went home and were instantly put to work. When people think of holidays, they think of fun and relaxation. I think of cleaning. I'm used to it though so I didn't mind the work. After I was done cleaning, I started trying to work more on my mom's present.

I got Mom an amazing present this year. She specifically told me not to get her a snuggie, so I just ignored that wish anyway. However, I didn't get her just a regular snuggie. I went online and found instructions on how to make your own snugglet. Therefore, a couple of weeks ago Dad and I went shopping and bought fabric and some special (expensive!!) fabric paper that you can put in your printer so I could sew on pictures of the family. I made the snuggie a couple of nights before, but I still had to print and sew on the pictures. I was freaking out when I was printing the pictures because I didn't want to mess up and the special paper was too expensive to waste. I got them printed and cut out though, but then I was freaking out because we had to leave for Aunt Marjorie's house for our annual (except for last year) Christmas Eve get-together. I brought the snuggie, pictures, and sewing machine with me and tried desperately to get it done, but sewing on the images was really hard with so much fabric everywhere and the pins keeping the pictures on kept on falling off. I managed to get a couple of pictures sewn on before going upstairs for our program and I just pinned the rest on carefully. Uncle William and Uncle John and their families were there along with Marjorie's and mine (obviously).

Upstairs, everyone was singing Christmas songs which was a little strange at first but then I just joined in. We then started our talent show. Emma Jo went first and she sang a song for us. Emily and Matthew, my little cousins who are like 4 and 2 I think, got up and sang and danced for us which was adorable. Hannah played the violin and everyone was impressed how good she sounded after starting to play last September. Amanda and Chelsie played the piano and Jordan, Uncle John, Mackenzie, and Skyler all sang or acted out the Best Song in the World. Ashley and I decided to do a skit, in Chinese. It was pretty simple (btw this is writting in pin yin):
Ashley: ni hao (hello)
Celeste: ni hao ma? (how are you)
Ashley: wo hen hao, xie xie. (I'm pretty good, thank you)
Celeste: wo shi si lin. ni jiao shen me? (I am Si Lin. What is your name?)
Ashley: wo shi (I am whatever her Chinese name is here)
Celeste: wo shi xing huan he niu nai, guo zhi, shui, cha, ke le, he ka fe. Aye aye! ni shi zhonggou ren ma? (I like to drink milk, fruit juice, water, tea, coke, and cofee. Aye aye! You are Chinese?)
Ashley: bu shi, wo shi mei guo ren. (no, I am American)
Celeste: wo shi ye mei guo ren. Ta shi wo ma ma (I am also American. I point to my mom saying "This is my mom")
Ashley: bu shi, ta shi wo ma ma (no, this is my mom)
Celeste: bu shi, ta shi wo ma ma
Ashley: bu shi
etc, etc....
Ashley: *gasp* mei mei? (little sister?)
Celeste: *gasp* jie jie? (older sister?)
Then we both hugged and then I said in French: merci, je t'adore ma soeur. Which then confuses everyone. It was great, everyone seemed to like it.

I then presented the unfinished snuggie to Mom and told her that she has to wear it since I made it and it has pictures of us on there or I will be upset. The technique was the guilt her into wearing it.

Aunt Marjorie then brought out some gifts that Grandma and Grandpa Stevens sent us from Mongolia. Each of the younger girls got a Mongolian boy and girl doll. Each of us got a Mongolian CTR ring, and it says "3C" on it. Us older girls got a cute Mongolian purse, the men/boys got ties, and the women got some fabric thing. It was really cool, we then passed out our cousin gifts. It was William's family's turn to give my family a present this year, so we got candy bars, Harry Potter 4 and 5 ps2 games, popcorn, and a giftcard to McDonald's. Needless to say, he is still my favorite uncle on my mom's side (I had a thing when I was little for rating my uncles, and he was always number one). Amanda got me smarties from Canada (which are actually like m&ms) and these really awesome giraffe earrings I saw her looking at yesterday. They are awesome! My pajamas are really cute, and coincidentally ended up matching Amanda's except they were different colors. The adults all then had to take pictures of us in our pajamas.

I really love my family. My dad was talking while me, Ashley, William and Wendy Rae, and someone else were in the room and then he said "Well, Santa isn't real." All of us gasped at the same time. Someone said "shun the non-believer!" and then at the same time, William and me said "Shun!" just like in Charlie the Unicorn. Oh man it was funny, I love my family. Just stupid moments like that can make my day.

When we got home, we went in the living room and just kinda hung out and watched Sylvester play with a game piece I kept throwing around. Ashley and I spent some time in the kitchen dancing to the Christmas music. Soon, they took pictures of us and we set out chocolate milk and cookies. Emma tried to bring out nine big carrots, one for each reindeer. Mom and Dad convinced her to leave just one out and that we'll leave a note telling Santa that his reindeer can get more out of the fridge if they want to. I went to sleep very easily that night for the first time in my life on Christmas Eve. Hannah told me later that she couldn't sleep. I'm so glad those days are over.

When morning came, I had a premonition while I was sleeping that something was going to happen. Sure enough, a couple of seconds later, Ashley and Hannah came in and scared me awake. We then went to wake up Emma. I thought it was funny that Ashley, the oldest and 17 years old, was the first awake and woke everyone else up. Last year, both me and Ashley were the first ones awake. At exactly 7 am, we woke our parents up. They said to give them 5 minutes so we went into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate and then stared at the Christmas tree and presents in all its glory. Soon, our parents came and we opened stockings first then started opening presents. We open them oldest to youngest, one at a time because it's fun to see what everyone got and how they react. Ashley got mainly clothes, of course. I got a back massager, a skateboard, two how-to-draw books, a small sketchbook, two very amazing books, jewelry, a jewelry box, skinny jeans, three shirts, and a sweatshirt with Eeyore on it. Ashley and I were both jealous when Hannah got a backwards snuggie (bathrobe). All of us but Emma got the Sims 3. I haven't played it yet. Emma got mainly barbies and littlest pet shops and polly pockets.

The rest of the day was really good. Everyone was super tired and took a small nap at one time or another. I finished making Mom's snuggie later. And, a hundred pin pricks and minutes later, it was done. I was very proud, and also made a vow never to make a snuggie again, or at least ones with pictures on it. Dinner was very delicious, and afterwards everyone in our family helped clean and it was fun because we were working but talking and laughing at the same time. It was a good day.

The next day, I started reading The Hunger Games. It is so amazing!! I stayed up until 5 am reading it, the whole time I had my back massager thing going. It pretty much just vibrates but I love it. On Sunday, I read the second Hunger Games book and stayed up until 2 am reading it. Now whenever I start to move or walk, my body like buzzes because of the back massager I think, it's really weird. You guys should all read the Hunger Games because you will stay glued to it until you finish, I can't even describe how amazing it is. The thing that's killing me now is that the third and final book doesn't come out until August, and the ending of the second book was so crazy that I'm just dying inside because I can't read it again for another 8 months.

Anyway, that was my awesome Christmas, I loved it! Thanks Mom, Santa, family, and friends!

I Just Want To Be Me

I wish I could just be me and not care about other people. I am constantly wishing I could be other people which isn't good at all. I can't seem to just be myself and have my own opinions or way of doing things, I always try to follow people instead of just stopping and asking myself if that's really what I want to be like.

For a long time now I've wanted to be like my friend Heather Lieber. She is so beautiful, is good at dancing and track, has amazing friends that she hangs out with all the time, she's an amazing singer, she has an older brother, and she's super nice and caring. I find I always compare myself to her subconsciously. Every Friday night, while I'm at home listening to a book and playing solitaire on my iPod for three hours straight or playing a million songs on the piano because I have nothing better to do, I always think about how she's probably having a sleep over at her friends and having a really good time and being a normal teenager.

I used to want to be like Megan Anderson because she's gorgeous and has just one little brother. All of the boys like her and she is always hanging out with her friends and having fun. She's really good at dancing and she's always so happy and smiley.

There are tons of other people I could list, like this one girl whose blog I just read about how much fun she had last Friday night and saying how they don't do normal teenage stuff on Friday nights. Her having fun and doing weird stuff with her friends is more normal than I can be. The only time I hang out with people is when I do night games with the other people my age in my ward before going back home and blocking everything out with my iPod.

I can't even have my own opinions. If my older sister Ashley tells me she likes something, then I like it too. If she doesn't, then I hate it. My little sister said she hated Owl City's music, so I asked Ashley if she likes it. She said yes, therefore I like Owl City just because I want to be like Ashley and I'm just used to adopting any opinions she has.

I wish I could just stop caring and not try to act like the other kids at school, because I don't like most of the kids at my school any way. I just want to be a normal teenager who hangs out with friends all the times and doesn't care what other people think because we're just having fun. When everyone thinks of Christmas break, they think of hanging out with friends. I think of sleeping, iPod time, piano time, and staying at home all day. Hanging out doesn't even cross my mind because I don't hang out with people very much any more.

I wish I could just be me and not care what other people think and not worry about feeling like a loser because everyone is talking about how they hung out with their big group of friends every day while I hid in my bedroom and listened to piano music on my iPod or a book.

The main reason I wanted a job at Lagoon was so that I could buy an iPod. Now that I have it, I don't care about the other $600 my Mom owes me. I got a 120 GB iPod so that I could stick a million movies, books, youtube videos, and songs on there. It helps me just relax and not care. Whenever I have to do chores I listen to it, if I had a bad day, I crawl into my bed and watch people playing the piano on it from youtube or listen to Disney songs or a book and play solitaire for the hundredth time. It's like a mind number and I'm addicted.

I wish that I didn't care that I did that, that I could just listen to my iPod and not care about what everyone else was doing, that I wasn't subconsciously comparing myself to them. I wish I could just be me and be happy like that.

English Papers

This past week in English, everyone had to type four stories about their childhood. I was very excited when I heard about this because I think I had a really fun childhood and I constantly wish I can back. We could choose four things to talk about. Mine were romance, childhood fun, first emotion I remember, and what I want to be remembered by when I die (which isn't exactly childhood).

My stories were different than the others because I didn't have specific stories, I just talked about what I did throughout the years or a couple of stories.

We got to listen to some of the stories during class. Some of them really made us shudder like ones about how a little kid pooed while going down the slide and so my friend had to clean it up (very descriptive), someone else was running to jump into a lake but got their foot caught on a nail which tore at her foot, someone else got a bunch of splinters in their feet, and then really cute ones about true love.

Today my friends told me to read my "True Romance" one which I didn't want to do. Sure it was my favorite, but it was my longest and I didn't want to bore everyone. My friend also suggested that I do the one about my toilet phobia, but I didn't want everyone thinking I was a freak before second semester. I finally decided to read the romance one. I read it as fast as I could. Everyone seemed to really like it, and I couldn't help but smile in amusement as I read about how I fell in love with another boy and then another. Afterwards, everyone was asking me what school I went to because I don't think the elementary schools here in Davis County had a lot of girls and boys falling in love and kissing before the age of ten. Bacchus wasn't the best school and there were certainly some bad kids there with all of the graffiti everywhere, fourth graders wearing all black and eyeliner, and second graders already cussing at everyone. However, I loved that school, it was so fun and much better than the schools here because it was more down to Earth.

Anyway, these next four posts below are my stories I wrote, and you can read them if you want. I had tons of fun doing these. True Romance, Toilet Phobia, Childhood Fun with Ashley, and What I want to do in my life and what I want my kids to remember me by.

Enjoy.

Romance

True Romance:

I was a very romantic child. A year never went by without a special boy catching my eye. My first love was named Allen. He had beautiful thick dark brown hair, dark eyes, and long eyelashes. Allen was in my first preschool class and I was in love at first sight. Whenever I could during class, I would talk to him or play with him at recess. I was very jealous of another girl, named Megan, who loved him too and whom I thought was a brat. She would always climb on the slide and pretend to fall while crying out desperately “Help me!” Allen would rush to her aid and help her down, while I stood to the side with hatred boiling inside of me. My love of this special boy lasted the whole year of preschool, and I referred to him as my boyfriend to my family. I was upset when the school year ended, and I never saw Allen again.

My second year of preschool was Niconie. He too had beautiful dark skin and hair. The only thing I can really remember of him is telling my older sister, Ashley, how cute he was and how he’s going to be my boyfriend. She then proceeded to taunt me by saying “I bet he has a green face!” I argued with her for a long time, convincing her that he didn’t and he looked normal. However, Niconie was a turtle for Halloween, therefore his face was painted green. We got to wear our costumes to school. My mom and Ashley came over to the preschool to pick me up, and while Ashley and I were talking, Niconie walked by. I showed Ashley, and then a big grin started to form on her face. She then turned to me and said happily “I told you his face was green.” I said a feeble remark about him just being a turtle for Halloween, and then slumped my shoulders in defeat as my older sister once again outsmarted me.

In kindergarten, I fell in love with Brendon Lee. He had fair blond hair and was very nice and smart. My friend, Katelynn, and I both like him. I was so thrilled to sit next to him and we talked non-stop which resulted in me not being able to get my work done and both of us getting in trouble a lot by the teacher. I loved to play games with him and was constantly having a secret battle with Katelynn for his love. Brendon never showed anything more than friendship between us, and by first grade, I was the only one from my kindergarten class who was in Mrs. Harrison’s class. I soon forgot about him.

My crush in first grade wasn’t as big as the rest. He was a boy named Troy, and he didn’t really catch my eye until one day, he told the teacher that he wanted to sit next to me. I was thrilled, and promptly sat down next to him. After that, we still talked and I like to sit next to him, but I never liked him as much as the future boy, like Colten Whiting. I remember he was standing in front of me while waiting in line for lunch. A boy in his class just barely told the teacher to shut up, and then they were laughing about it. I said to him “His dad probably taught him that”. Colten then replied “Oh yeah probably! ‘Good job son, say it again!’” He laughed at my joke! My heart fluttered, but I didn’t see or notice him again until second grade.

The first time I saw Colten in my second grade class, I knew he was the one. He was so cute with his crazy brown hair, adorable smile, and fun personality. I had never felt this way about a boy before, and I knew he had to be mine. Therefore, I quickly claimed him as mine by telling him I loved him. From that time until Christmas, I never left him alone. During recess, I always chased him, trying to kiss him on the cheek. I constantly told him that if he would tell me he loved me, I would stop teasing and kissing him. He never told me that, but I just knew that he loved me anyway. How could he not? Even when he was calling me “Four eyes” when I got my first pair of glasses, I knew he was saying it out of love. Sadly, right around Thanksgiving, he moved to California. His parents were divorced so his Mom took him and his brothers away and left his Dad to live there alone. I was devastated. I can remember laying down on my parents’ bed, crying my eyes out over my true love whom I thought I was going to marry, but whom I’d never see again. How could I go on living? I tried to reduce the heart ache by falling for another boy named Devin. I followed him around a lot and let him know that I love him. He told me to shut up and that he hated me. I took that as a sign that he wasn’t interested. I told him that I hated him and that he was fat, and then didn’t talk to him anymore. A couple of weeks later, my best friend, Brittany Atkin, found out his address and every in the class wrote him letters. I was so excited I almost peed my pants. I wrote him a very long letter about how much I miss him and I included my address and phone number. On Christmas Eve that year, he called me. I was in shock; my true love was calling me! We talked for a long time and he told me that he was going to visit me! I could hardly wait! Over the next couple of years, he visited me about five times whenever he came to visit his dad. He told me it was because his parents forced him too, but I knew otherwise. He was so nice to me and we loved to play together. We constantly wrote letters to each other and I still have a letter from him in third grade and his pictures in my memory box.

Later on, towards the end of second grade, the boy Devin told someone to tell someone to tell me that they loved me and I quickly had myself a boyfriend.

In third grade, I continued to date Devin, which pretty much meant that we held hands during recess and sat together when everyone in our grade watched a movie. I was upset however, because he was on B track every year and I was always on A track. In the middle of third grade, a new girl moved in named Kayla. Sadly, even though I had once kissed Devin on the cheek, we held hands while jumping over mud puddles, we played tag during recess, and he had given me two rings (which he probably stole from his mom even though his friends informed me that he was rich and had like fifty bucks), he fell for Kayla instead. Heartbroken, I threw the rings at his friends and told them to tell him I hate him. I was so depressed, and I always blamed it on the fact that I had glasses. I had always made sure never to wear glasses in front of him, but one day I forgot. I asked him later if he still thought I was cute, and he said yes. However, a couple of weeks later it all ended, and I always thought it was because he thought I was ugly because of my Barbie glasses. I still played with him during recess sometimes, but it was awkward whenever I saw my ex-boyfriend.

Later that year, I fell in love with another boy named Jeremy Henderson. Even though I still loved Colten, I knew there was something special about Jeremy. He was so nice, and I loved to play tag with him and his friends every recess. I sat next to him during school, and he was always yelling at the guy next to me because he liked to cheat off of me since I was one of the smarted kids in my class. Sometimes, when I was sad, he would even pat my back. With Jeremy there was something more than little girl love, and I never once kissed him because I was too embarrassed. Jeremy loved me and another girl named Ciya Turpin. He told us that he likes me better though, and I was so thrilled. One day, I asked Jeremy to come to church with me. He said no, and even though his friends and I kept on trying to convince him, his answer remained no. The next day, his friends told me that he didn’t like me anymore and he was dumping me. I don’t remember what happened after that, but all I know is that he couldn’t stay mad at me and before I knew it we were in love again. I loved him all 3^rd, 4^th, and 5^th grade. During those years, a lot of other guys liked me and I always had kids going up to me and telling me that one guy or another wanted to French kiss me, but I still loved Jeremy and didn’t notice the other guys.

In fifth grade, I was homeschooled after Christmas, and I didn’t get to see Jeremy anymore. My life during that point was all about piano, gymnastics, my dog, and being homeschooled. I didn’t really see any guys at all and I was always thinking about Jeremy. Towards the end of the year, I went back to school for a couple of hours every day to take the end of level tests. During that time, I got to see Jeremy again. Every time I saw him, my face would turn red. I didn’t know how to act, I had been away from boys for so long and I hadn’t seen him in a long time and I had missed him so much. We never did more than talk.

In sixth grade, I transferred to a charter school and a boy named Corbin Rasmussen caught my eye. I was in a class called “Junior High” and there weird 5^th to 7^th graders in there. I only knew him for a month before I had to move to Farmington, and right before I left, I told him I liked him. I never saw him again either.

During sixth grade, I had a couple of crushes which was usual for me. I barely knew anyone, so I had a crush on one of the only guys I was friends with, Ethan Drake. I loved to play with him during recess and he was so nice. I like a couple of others for a while, but I soon got over it, though Ethan is still my best friend. I then saw this one guy who I thought was really cute, but then I thought “He’s so cute, I’m not good enough for him. He deserves better girls.” I was really shocked when my eyes were open one Sunday at church and I realized that he was in my Sunday School class and he was the bishop’s son. I don’t know how I didn’t notice him before. On the last day of school, I told him I liked him and then walked home smiling. As you can imagine, that made church awkward. I continued to like him for a couple of years, but we were never more than friends, and somewhere between 7^th and 8^th grade I didn’t have a crush on him anymore and he’s now one of my really good friends. I went out with a couple of guys in junior high, but that ended quickly and now I hate relationships and I don’t even think guys are worth it anymore. For the first time in my life, I don’t have a crush on anyone. And still, even though it’s been more than three years since I’ve seen him, I still think of Jeremy sometimes and really wish I could see him. I’ve become friends on facebook with many of my elementary school friends (a lot of them I either liked or they liked me), and sadly Jeremy doesn’t have an account. I miss the good old days when I was so in love with a lot of guys and all of the guys liked me too. Now, I can’t seem to make either of those happen.

Corporophobia

Corporophobia Aka Toilet Phobia

One of my first emotions I can remember having was fear, and it wasn’t over anything life-threatening or exceptionally scary, it was for toilets. The toilet has always been my enemy. It sits there cold and stationary, the number one fear of a messed up little girl, except perhaps that scary vacuum.
I remember staring into the toilet, not knowing whether or not I should use it or refuse. Every toilet had a different look, and each one seemed to have a face when I looked inside, grinning and inviting me to just sit on it before it can overflow or suck me inside or flush unexpectedly. If it was big enough or had more than the usual amount of water, there was no way I’d use it. The automatic ones were always a nightmare, especially when I had to go really bad but I feared its loud flush and the terror of seeing the water race back to the horrible depths below called the sewer. I would usually be too afraid to open the toilet and I made someone else do it for me at home because I was afraid it would be clogged.
To overcome my fear, I tried some techniques to be mean to the toilet and bully it. Just remember here that I was a little girl, my older self does not still do this.
My initial attack of that terrible loo was to flood it as much as possible, because somehow I thought this was revenge. I loved to clog it, yet it scared me when I did and I would always run away when I saw it clogging. My mother always got mad at me for clogging it and getting water all over the floor, but all that mattered to me was that the toilet was getting hurt.
I also sometimes insulted the toilet to make it angry, but then I would feel bad and apologize in case it came after me. It never occurred to me that toilets can’t come after you or attack you.
Eventually, I overcame my fear and made a truce with the horrible things. I now am not scared of toilets and I couldn’t care less what kind of toilet it is, whether it’s big or small or flushes by itself. Toilets are toilets, and they are there to serve us eternally.

Childhood Fun

Childhood Fun

I have an older sister named Ashley who I love very much. We have so many great memories of playing games and getting into trouble together. Sometimes I wish I could go back and live it all again. I love looking at old pictures of us together before the other two sisters came along.
Our number one favorite thing to do was to play Barbies. Unlike other kids we knew, all of our Barbies had a specific name and personality. There wasn’t a different story each time we played; they were always the same kind of Barbie with the same family and hobbies. Ashley and I were always giant Ashley and giant Celeste, and we loved to help the Barbies and the Barbies loved us.
One story that we did a lot was to have the Barbies become slaves. Our evil panda bear or a rag doll we named Hades would come and make them all do terrible things like writing your name a hundred million billion times, making one hundred pancakes, running one thousand miles, and other atrocious things that included big numbers. Ashley and Celeste giants would come later and defeat the evil slaver and save all of the Barbies.
Another of our favorites was having the Barbies work at McDonald’s. That was our dream job and we loved to have the Barbies make chicken nuggets and hamburgers and party there at the best place in town. I always made the chicken nuggets and Ashley liked to make the hamburgers.
I can’t remember a lot of specific stories with the Barbies, but I just remember we played them a lot and had tons of fun. It was always a sad day when we had to throw away a broken Barbie because we grew very attached to them.
A movie that Ashley and I watched a lot was “A Bug’s Life”. After seeing the way those terrible, evil grasshoppers treated the poor ants, Ashley and I decided we should do our part. We liked to leave out a couple of crumbs on our front porch to get a crowd of ants. Then, we would gather many leaves and grass and flowers and put them in a huge pile for the ants to give to the grasshoppers. It was very fun to do and a favorite activity of ours. Our parents, however, would get upset with us because the land lord would have to clean up the mess and get after our parents.
We played many games together and we loved to hang out. I was always very lonely when she got to go to school and I had to stay home and wait for her to come home on the days that I didn’t have preschool. She usually bought me a soda from her school though (it used to be a junior high so it had lockers and a soda machine) and when we came home, we would play for hours.
Ashley’s best friend in the neighborhood was a girl named Helene. We loved to play with Helene all the time. We had to hide our Barbies whenever she came over though, because she hated them and liked to take their clothes off and rip off their heads. One of my best memories of Helene was when she and her older sister came over for a sleepover at my house, and each of us was one of the muses from Hercules. We put sleeping bags in front of the TV then watched Hercules and sang and danced like the muses. It was super fun.
I was extremely skinny for my age. The doctors said I was off the charts, yet I ate tons of food. Therefore, a lot of people thought my mom was starving me. A favorite game of mine and Ashley’s was having me put on my clothes and run around and see how long it took them to fall off since I was so sickly skinny. None of my clothes stayed on very well and it always amused us to no end.
We both shared a big room in the basement for a while, and it was hard to keep it clean because we were always playing games. Whenever our mom would tell us to clean our room, we would eat smarties candies to think of smart ways to clean our room quickly without doing any work. We usually liked to stack up our big toys against the door in the hopes that our mom wouldn’t be able to come into the room and see how little progress we’ve made. I still have the image clear in my mind of our mom banging the door open and our doll house flying from the door and her evil mother eyes glaring at us. She would then take out a trash bag and start to throw away our toys so we would hurry fast to clean up our toys.
Ashley and I continued to play a lot together like sledding down the stairs, climbing up the wall and then jumping off onto cushions, playing outside in our play house, and many other fun things.
Eventually Ashley spent less time with me until we barely hung out at all. The only time I hung out with her for a while was when my cousin was over and my sister had a boyfriend. She was grounded though, so she had me pretend to go on a walk with her so Mom wouldn’t be suspicious and then she would go meet him at the junior high while I stood around and watched.
Now that we’re both older, we are now good friends again. I love to just talk with her in her room or after school about things going on. One of my favorite things to discuss is our childhood memories and our many fun games we played.

Lifetime Accomplishments

Lifetime Accomplishments

When I die, I want my kids, grandkids, and hopefully great grandkids to be able to tell everyone what a great person I was. They can tell people how loving I was and how I made everyone feel at home even if they weren’t in my family.
I want them to be able to brag to their friends and tell them that I helped animate the latest Pixar movie and that I have animated many movies in my life and helped contribute to the growing animation technology.
When people talk about me, one of the things I would like them to mention is how cool they thought it was that I could speak several different languages and I often forgot which language I’m speaking in because I know so many. They would talk to me and I would usually accidentally answer in Chinese or Spanish because I got so confused by all of the many languages I learned. I was very useful in the world and got to travel to many different places because I knew their languages and was able to translate.
I want to have many kids and raise them to be extraordinary people dedicated to our church. I want everyone to know how I felt about church and how they want to follow in my footsteps of going on a mission with my husband when we’re old and retired just like my grandparents.
People would best remember me for my great piano and guitar playing. I loved to sit down and play the piano at every chance I got and always pushed myself to learn harder songs. Whenever our family went on campouts, I would pull out my guitar and everyone would sing campfire songs. They loved it when I would play just at home on a peaceful night. My strong yet soft singing voice would fill the air and everyone would feel so calm and happy. I want people to know that music was a big part in my life.
When a new person in my family is born, I would draw a portrait of them, animate a short movie about them, and make them a blanket. That way, when I’m gone, they will always have something to remember me by and to know that I love them and always will.
The most important thing to me is that I marry a wonderful, worthy guy who loves me, and that I never get a divorce. I want to raise many kids and create a big family. I want to be remembered as a good mother who loved her kids and always did what was best for them. I’ll teach them to love music and reading and to develop their own talents and be the best they can be. I want them to be charitable too and to always give service to others and love everyone no matter what.
If I die young enough, I want to donate my organs to keep another person from dying. I want to die with my husband, preferably in our sleep or in a quick car accident. I don’t want to live until I’m in my 90’s because that seems way too old, I think dying in my 80’s would be perfect with my amazing husband by my side.
The words that I want to come to mind of people when they think of me are spiffing, delightful, and Christ-like. Spiffing and delightful are my favorite words to say to describe things. I want people to be proud of me and to know that I was a good person who always tried to do what’s right. I never hated easily, and I always made things right when I upset someone. I can’t stand it when I make people upset, and I love very easily. I want my family and friends to think of me as a good example. I want to be the best person I possibly can.

Sub for Santa

Today I got to go to school at 6:45 am to go to K-Mart for sub for Santa shopping. For the past two weeks our school has been collecting money for sub for Santa. It was sad because three days before it ended we only made about $2,500 and the day before it ended we were only up to $4,000. Thankfully by the last day, we made about $7,500. We needed to make at least $6,000 to get every family what they need. My first period teacher was happy with us because we donated over the amount what we were supposed to, but he still asked us to bring more to help cover for the other first period classes that weren't making as much. On the last day, everyone in my class brought tons of money. One girl asked her whole family to donate and brought $100. I had gone shopping the night before so I brought all of my extra change and emptied my piggy bank. The envelope that we were supposed to put money in started to rip because there was so much change in it so we put it in one of his plastic hats but that started to overflow too. Mr. Simons was very excited that there was so much change because he loved watching the secretaries count them. It felt good to donate. One person from each first period class got to go and I luckily got to.

This morning, everyone was put into one of eleven families. I was in family ten. There were three kids, two boys and one girl all under the age of seven. A girl named Brittany Barret and I shopped for the three year old girl. We only had $75 to spend on her and she needed clothes. We got her a coat, boots, a shirt, and pants. We also got her a princess coloring book 96 crayons, and Cinderella polly pockets because she loves Cinderella. We got back with the other people shopping for our family. We got them two DVD's and two games to play. We also got them a pack of treats to eat together. It was so fun and I'm glad we can do this for other families. I felt Christmassy.

I was going to help wrap the presents after school, but I had to stay after to work on an art project and I ended up staying there for over an hour working on it. I then spent another hour lying down in the commons area at the school waiting to be picked up. When I finally was, Mom took me and my little sisters with her to the Mary Kay studio and told us we'd only be there for an hour while she organized and counted the products. We were there for four hours. It was freezing in there and we were bored. I took home some paint and brushes from art so I painted my box while waiting while Hannah and Emma ran around and screamed and fought. Eventually I went to go sit over by the heater and fell asleep for a while. I'm so glad to be home where it's not freezing and to finally eat my first real meal. For lunch, I had a couple of grapes and half a breadstick and I never eat breakfast because I always feel sick in the mornings.

Here's a video I thought some of you would like, I thought it was cool.

My Downhill Education

I got my mid-term report card today. I was mad to see that I have a "U" in Honors English. Mrs. Shinn said that almost the whole class got a "U" except for a few good people. I really thought I'd be one of those good people. I"m not a bad student; there's been a couple of classes where I've had trouble being quiet and good, but I'm good in Honors English and I want her to tell me what I did that made me deserve a "U". I'm so sick of having other people spoil stuff for me. Like in elementary school, I'd always be punished just because most of the class were bad. I'm sick of it, it's not fair. I don't deserve that "U" at all and I'm going to talk to her about it.

I also got back both of my math tests today. I failed one test and got a C- on the second one. On one I wrote on the scratch paper "I hate math" and the teacher wrote this next to it "Then why are you in an honors math class? It isn't a required class." I know that but I can't go back to geometry. I was good at geometry and got good grades in that class so it's completely pointless to go back to a class and re-learn a bunch of stuff that isn't going to help me with Algebra 2. My Mom wouldn't let me anyway. She expects me to have straight A's and be the perfect student just because she was. I hate to let her down, but I can't do it.

I thought I was really smart in elementary school. Well I was, I was one of the smartest in my class every year and I always got straight A's. Then my Mom and I both realized that my school is behind grade level. She home schooled me for half of fifth grade to get me caught up. I went to a charter school for a month in sixth grade, and then I moved here to Farmington. My sixth grade teacher was a weird hippie who was a terrible teacher and never gave us homework and gave us really easy and stupid assignments. I rarely had homework. It's no wonder I was overwhelmed in junior high when I suddenly had a bunch of homework thrown at me when I barely had any homework before in any of my classes in elementary school. I tried really hard but didn't get straight A's for the first time in my life which was really upsetting to me. I kept on trying, but by second semester I stopped caring. I was only a sevvy and I couldn't get my grades up so I just didn't try as hard. I got a D in science which really irked Mom. By the end of the year, I had a C+ in math and didn't get higher than a B in math all year.

The next year went better. I did a lot better in math. At least my grades told me so. Usually at the beginning of a unit, I didn't have a clue what was going on and I usually missed a lot of problems on my assignments but I got A's in math because he only graded on if you did your homework or not. By the end of the unit before the test, I usually found out how to do stuff and got 80-93% on each test. I still found it frustrating because I'd never gotten 100% on a test and I had always hoped I would and tried so hard because it was sad to see these people who didn't even have to try as hard because they were born geniuses and they would get 100% every time. I did well in science though and got 100% on a lot of my tests, at least I did first semester. I did okay with grades all year but never got a 4.0 which is still annoying.

Now, I keep on giving up. Geography is hard because Mr. Simons gives really hard tests and I'm not good at studying for them. I usually understand math, but by the next day I forget how to do everything again. And then by the time the test comes, I forget everything. I think my brain is slowly dying. I find school really hard now, and now I find myself thinking "What's the point? I'm not going to get into BYU anyway and I'm not smart enough to get into the animation program." On tests, if I don't understand a problem I have to force myself to keep trying and usually fail at trying and just quit and think "what's the point?"

This is the worst year to get like this since my grades actually mean something, but now I can't think and the only thing I'm good at is English, Chinese, and day-dreaming during seminary. It's so frustrating, and I've even lost my motivation to do homework. I'll do a little bit if it isn't hard, but otherwise I just quickly do it and if I don't instantly get how to do it, I put it away and say "oh well, I don't care."

I wish I was in elementary school again when my teachers would be impressed because I was the only student who got the math problem right, I got 100% on every test and was very depressed if I got anything lower, I would write a 10 page story when everyone else wrote a 1 page story, and I would shake my head at the other kids and wonder how they can possibly not get how to do math or read right. It was annoying how the other kids would get so far behind and not be able to understand how to do their homework while I was finishing it quickly and then doing more problems just for fun and to impress my teachers. I wish I could be more like my best cousin Amanda. She's a great singer, is always telling me how much fun she has hanging out with her friends a lot, she's in Rhapsody, and gets to go out to dinner with her parents every term because she always gets a 4.0. I wasn't good enough to be a madrigal, I don't usually hang out with friends because no one really calls me except for people in the ward for night games or a sleepover with Sariah, and I haven't had a 4.0 since before I moved here. School sucks, and I can't seem to find a way to be happy other than listening to my favorite books on my ipod and blocking everything else out.

I feel like I'm just failing and I'm disappointing my parents who are always trying to convince me that I am smart when I'm really not. My mom is smart, she's got her master in accounting, she always got straight A's, and she went to beauty school. My dad is a wiz with computers and always works so hard to support our family and does amazing at any job he gets. I usually wonder what happened to me. What went wrong when I was born to have such smart parents and then to not do well and fail four tests in a row in the past month? It isn't fair, I want to go back to when I was in kindergarten and making up my own homework since I never got any and I still thought it was fun. Back when I was still good at school and convinced that I was going to get a scholarship.

Christmas and Birthday Stuff

Last night I went to my neighborhood annual Christmas get together thingy. We all go up to a circle and bring treats and canned food. We donate the canned food instead of neighbor gifts, and then we have treats and hot chocolate while hanging around the bonfires, visiting with Santa, and the little kids have snow ball fights (which I always refuse to participate in). I asked Santa for food on the table and world peace. I felt kinda weird when I found out that Santa was my Sunday School teacher and I sat on his lap. Well I mean it looked like him but of course it couldn't be, that was the real Santa there. It was really fun and I love my ward. Everyone's so nice and fun and I love hanging out with my wardies and going to mutual. At girls' camp, my ward was one of the only wards who didn't have girls fighting and having drama. This is the best ward. I love my old wards too, but this one is so great. I just thought I'd share that.

Anyway, so last night hung out with Matt Wilcox, Jippe and Aksel Albertson (twins), Chandler England, Ben Barlow, and Heather Lieber around a bonfire for most of the night talking.

When I got home my friend reminded me to decorate her locker for her birthday so I spent the next hour cutting out phrases from magazines and paper hearts to put on her locker. I was having so much fun looking through the phrases and some of them I was really tempted to bring but she would probably be mad and the administration would tear it down. I just got a bunch that said stuff like "gorgeous, mysterious, you can't stop the beat, it's time to party, be the best kisser, stay green young woman, and have a fun party (without drinking)!" That last one was my favorite. It wasn't too smart to stay up that late because I had to be to school by 7 am to practice for choir. I don't even wake up until 7. Therefore, I was super tired today and I'm not looking forward to my Christmas Concert tonight.

Here's a video I thought you guys would enjoy :]
**I just barely realized that my Aunt DeAnn has the same video on her blog, sorry!

I have a serious question

If a man speaks in the middle of a forest and there is no woman around to hear it, is he still wrong??

If a woman speaks in the middle of a forest and there is no man around to hear it, is it still considered nagging??