Corporophobia Aka Toilet Phobia
One of my first emotions I can remember having was fear, and it wasn’t over anything life-threatening or exceptionally scary, it was for toilets. The toilet has always been my enemy. It sits there cold and stationary, the number one fear of a messed up little girl, except perhaps that scary vacuum.
I remember staring into the toilet, not knowing whether or not I should use it or refuse. Every toilet had a different look, and each one seemed to have a face when I looked inside, grinning and inviting me to just sit on it before it can overflow or suck me inside or flush unexpectedly. If it was big enough or had more than the usual amount of water, there was no way I’d use it. The automatic ones were always a nightmare, especially when I had to go really bad but I feared its loud flush and the terror of seeing the water race back to the horrible depths below called the sewer. I would usually be too afraid to open the toilet and I made someone else do it for me at home because I was afraid it would be clogged.
To overcome my fear, I tried some techniques to be mean to the toilet and bully it. Just remember here that I was a little girl, my older self does not still do this.
My initial attack of that terrible loo was to flood it as much as possible, because somehow I thought this was revenge. I loved to clog it, yet it scared me when I did and I would always run away when I saw it clogging. My mother always got mad at me for clogging it and getting water all over the floor, but all that mattered to me was that the toilet was getting hurt.
I also sometimes insulted the toilet to make it angry, but then I would feel bad and apologize in case it came after me. It never occurred to me that toilets can’t come after you or attack you.
Eventually, I overcame my fear and made a truce with the horrible things. I now am not scared of toilets and I couldn’t care less what kind of toilet it is, whether it’s big or small or flushes by itself. Toilets are toilets, and they are there to serve us eternally.
One of my first emotions I can remember having was fear, and it wasn’t over anything life-threatening or exceptionally scary, it was for toilets. The toilet has always been my enemy. It sits there cold and stationary, the number one fear of a messed up little girl, except perhaps that scary vacuum.
I remember staring into the toilet, not knowing whether or not I should use it or refuse. Every toilet had a different look, and each one seemed to have a face when I looked inside, grinning and inviting me to just sit on it before it can overflow or suck me inside or flush unexpectedly. If it was big enough or had more than the usual amount of water, there was no way I’d use it. The automatic ones were always a nightmare, especially when I had to go really bad but I feared its loud flush and the terror of seeing the water race back to the horrible depths below called the sewer. I would usually be too afraid to open the toilet and I made someone else do it for me at home because I was afraid it would be clogged.
To overcome my fear, I tried some techniques to be mean to the toilet and bully it. Just remember here that I was a little girl, my older self does not still do this.
My initial attack of that terrible loo was to flood it as much as possible, because somehow I thought this was revenge. I loved to clog it, yet it scared me when I did and I would always run away when I saw it clogging. My mother always got mad at me for clogging it and getting water all over the floor, but all that mattered to me was that the toilet was getting hurt.
I also sometimes insulted the toilet to make it angry, but then I would feel bad and apologize in case it came after me. It never occurred to me that toilets can’t come after you or attack you.
Eventually, I overcame my fear and made a truce with the horrible things. I now am not scared of toilets and I couldn’t care less what kind of toilet it is, whether it’s big or small or flushes by itself. Toilets are toilets, and they are there to serve us eternally.
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