Mormon Restaurants

Announced plan to open Mormon-themed restaurants!



There is an idea floating around Utah, Arizona, Idaho and California for a chain of non-pretentious Mormon-themed restaurants called “The Steak Center” (Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meating!).

Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at either end and folding metal chairs and long tables covered in plastic tablecloths.



The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters -- men in their seventies will meet you at the door and talk like they have known you all your life.

The main menu items for lunch and dinner will be:

Porterhouse Rockwell Steak

Primary Rib

Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef

Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes

Eliza R. Snow crab (in season)

And It Came to Pasta

Kraft MacaMoroni and Cheese.

Breakfast items will include

Pearls of Great Rice

Frosted Minivans

Adam-ondi-Omelettes

Also available

In Our Lovely Desserts

Fast Sundaes

Gadianton Cobbler

Laman Meringue Pie (just sinful!)


The waiters will be 12- and 13-year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties..

At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.

Franchises are selling faster than Sunbeams on Skittles! Get yours while they last!