Scary, Yet Awesome and the Same Time!!

Today was really scary, yet awesome at the same time!!

Something was wrong with me so I signed up to play "River Flows in You" for my school's CJH idol assembly for the talent part. I was actually feeling sick the day that I entered myself, so maybe that's why I did it. All yesterday and today I've been wondering what I was thinking when I put my name down, and I still have no clue. So I practiced a lot yesterday because I didn't want to mess up, but I was messing up all over the place because I was really scared, which made me more scared. Today I was nervous, but I wasn't all freaking out like yesterday (well, technically today's Saturday, but let's just pretend it's Friday still!). I practiced playing my song in the Drama room then went to my 7th period class (which is first and first period is last on assembly days). I got to get out five minutes into it to go into the gym to set up and practice. This girl named Mckenna was also going to play a song on the piano that she composed herself and singing. We just hung around and talked and played the piano a bit while waiting for the assembly to start. I was fine as long as I didn't think of the actual playing the piano part. I knew I was performing, but if I didn't think of actually playing, I was okay.

So too soon the assembly started and we started out with a talent from two girls who did a dance which was trying to do some sort of slow hip hop dance. The music was good, but they didn't know it very well, and one girl kept her eyes on the other girl the whole time because she didn't know what to do. Mckenna was up next and she was amazing. Her song sounded so proffesional, and she has a really good voice. Everyone was surprised that she composed the song herself. We then had a guy do stuff on a unicycle, and then the third place winner in CJH idol sang for us. My turn next. When Mrs. Rigby announced that I'd be playing "River Flows in You" tons of girls gasped at the same time, it was so funny! I knew I chose a good song, any song that has to do with Twilight in the slightest is sacred to them. I had Mckenna sit next to me on the bench to hold the music in place while I played because the stupid air conditioner kept on blowing over the music earlier. So I started playing and I, miraculously, didn't mess up the first part. My leg on the pedal was shaking super bad though and it wouldn't stop vibrating. I was also a bit distracted because I could hear people whispering. When someone who is super scared is performing, shut up! It doesn't help them to hear distractions and wonder if they're talking about their vibrating leg! So I messed up on a part near the end, which I've never done before, but I didn't care too much. When I was done, I kinda bowed and felt like an idiot bowing. Oh well. At least it was over with, and I had a cute guy to sit next to when I was done.

Afterwards was a guy who danced to some song starting with a T that sounded like an idian/foreign song that was awesome. The guy, Jon, is Chinese and he just started dancing like crazy! He always does that during school dances and people gather in circles around him. So everyone was clapping and screaming while he danced. It was so funny, yet awesome at the same time. I love that kid!! When he was done, everyone stood up and clapped as loud as they could. It reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite when he did his weird dance but everyone loved it. Then a guy did killer tricks with his yo-yo, the 2nd place CJH idol sang, two guys played the piano, and these two girls did a super good professional dance. Then the CJH idol winner sang, we clapped, left the end. I had tons of people tell me I did a good job. I'm just glad to have it over with, and now I want to do it next year, despite it being the scariest thing I've ever done in my short life. I usually only play for 50 people in a recital, but this was hundreds of kids.

I'm so glad Grandma and Grandpa got their mission call! I'm not sure whether I'm jealous or not that they are serving in Mongolia. Mom looked up some of their language stuff and it looks hard! I would also be scared. It was really cool having a lot of our family on the phone on the same time and to hear people hundreds of miles away in every direction trying to talk over eachother on the phone. Special. When Grandma said that it would be April 20, 2009 to October 20, 2010, I was a bit confused. I was thinking, but then they won't get back until next year. And then it dawned on me. Dang, they're going to be gone for over a year. No visits and games and fun :( And they'll miss my 15th and 16th birfday (my 16th birfday by two days). That's crazy, I'll be 16 when they get back. That's wrong, just sickly, unfunnily, horribly, wrong. 16.... I'm getting scary thoughts now (high school, boys, dates, jobs, driving, older....) I'm still just 14, I don't want to think about being 16 for another 626 days.

So I called people to see if they could come over to my house tonight to watch movies and have popcorn and other bad food. Most of them were being losers, so only Joye, Megz, and Sariah came. Oh well, we had fun without them. We watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and played rock band. It was pretty fun, and I almost killed my cat. Accidentally of course, but she was fine. She's tough.

That's been my scary/fun day! Hopefully next time I play for people, my leg wont buzz and spazz out, and Grandma and Grandpa will be gone. And Charlie (my cat) will still be alive.